Do you have certain phrases that a character says that immediately get your hackles up? For me, it often happens when a romance has been building up so beautifully and the characters have overcome so much and then finally comes the declaration I’ve been waiting for.
Only one of them says, “I’m in love with you” instead of “I love you.”
Every single time I feel let down. And don’t get me started when one says, “I’m in love with you,” and the other goes, “you love me?” Um, NO, that is not what they said.
These phrases mean completely different things. And when the distinction isn’t made in Christian fiction, the disappointment is especially keen. Why?
Well, let’s compare the two.
In love is only the beginning. It’s the butterflies and warm fuzzies and spark that can lead to lasting love, but in love is barely a sprouted seed in a wet paper towel.
I love you goes beyond the chemistry. It says I see you, I choose you. It holds the promise of that sprout growing roots below the soil and unfurling into something beautiful above it.
When I’m reading inspirational or Christian romance, I want my characters to fall in love. Absolutely. Maybe they realize they’re in love and that drives them to later prove the depth of their love. But the true climactic moment needs to be more than that. I want to see how they’ve developed those 1 Corinthians 13 qualities before choosing forever—in other words, is it patient, kind, humble, truthful, and willing to put the other person first?
Being in love is wonderful. But knowing someone loves you—all of you, even the parts you’re afraid to let them see when you’re in love—is glorious. And that’s what makes a truly climactic declaration in any romance. With that kind of love, their happy ending is only the beginning.
Have you given much consideration to the difference between the two phrases in your own reading? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
And real quick before I head out, I wanted to make sure you heard the exciting news! I’ve got a fun, lighthearted novella coming out soon as part of The 80s Rom-Com Club next month! If you love romantic comedies (especially movies from the 1980s!), you’ll love this set. You can pre-order it here.
Until next time, be blessed!
Some secular YA books or manga would drive you crazy…even “I like you” is used as a replacement for “I love you” or “I’m in love with you” lol, on the other hand this showed me how many secular books aren’t really about love but about falling in love…obsession, jealousy, screaming, distrust, fights, lust, physical attraction that impedes thinking…it is more about two people madly in love and lustful for each other instead of love.
And many people today believe that this is love, that is why they will have so many partners throughout their lives, they leave when the infatuation goes away but they never decide to love someone because they believe that loving is the same as being in love.
Interesting 🧐
WOW! Jen, Thanks for clearing this up! I never really thought about it and I totally agree with you. Now when I read a book and one of them says, “I’m in love with you” I’ll think twice about what they’re saying!
Lol! I hope I haven’t completely ruined it for you. Sometimes things stick out to my weird brain that others (apparently a LOT of others!) don’t notice. Lol!
It’s very interesting but In Love really means to me that you really love the person. When you say I Love you to people it’s meaning but you can say it to even pets.
That’s certainly true. Love itself goes far beyond romantic love, where in love is specific to romance.
In love is more that your deep in love with the person & it means something. Saying I Love means more that your saying it & not that it doesn’t always mean anything
My thoughts too. Thanks for commenting!
an interesting thought
Thank you!
Hi Jaycee. I cannot say that I ever thought about the phrases. Thank you for pointing out the differences. I have ordered the romcom. I cannot wait to read it. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Awesome! Thank you so much! And thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. ☺️
I hadn’t really thought about it before but I it makes sense. I say I love you to the cats and I do love them but I am not in love with them. I hadn’t thought about the difference til reading the post and some comments. I can see the difference.
Thanks for joining the discussion! I enjoy finding new things to discuss and consider! Lol!