Confession: I don’t like my first book. I’m actually pretty embarrassed by it.
Back in 2017 when I first wrote What Could Be, I was like a proud new first-time mama. My book baby was perfect. Beautiful. And certain to make its mark on the world.
Aaaaaaand then I read it again months after I’d released it into the world. My face burned with embarrassment and regret. I wanted to immediately unpublish it and hide it away for eternity. The pacing was slow. The heroine was annoyingly perfect. The chemistry fell flat. And wow, I really should have hired an editor. Instead, I’d already turned it into a series! Ever the problem solver, I got a team together and put that book through more editing, proofreading, critiquing, and then launched a second edition.
And it’s still not a great book.
Each book in the series is an improvement over the one before, but not everyone gives them a chance because there are still so many problems with that first book. Now, while I try to love the book that made me a published author, my feelings toward it are…complicated. As it turns out, I’m not alone in feeling this way.
Here’s what some of our own InspyRomance authors had to say about their first books:
“I recently revisited the manuscript of my first book, Holding on to Someday, and it makes me cringe at some of the errors I made. I wish I had time to go back and rewrite some of it, but then it wouldn’t be a first book, would it? lol!“ – K Leah
Teresa Tysinger says, “When I set out to write my first book, I knew a lot about storytelling — I had been an avid reader and studied literature for a long time. But I knew very little about the craft of writing a novel as a sellable product. I’m so incredibly proud of my first book, Someplace Familiar. It represents a courage I didn’t think I had. When I look over it, however, it is easy to find things I’d change. No matter your career or hobby, though, shouldn’t we look back and see growth since the beginning?“
“Authors aren’t supposed to publish the first book they ever wrote. But I didn’t hear that advice until after I’d already released Falling for the Foe. It has a flabby middle and I wish I’d known then how to ratchet up the dramatic tension. I was so shy about writing kisses that the lead characters only manage a hug at the end! Despite that, I’m proud of what this book stands for. It’s a signpost of how God brought to fruition my desire to share stories, and it’s introduced the country of my birth to many readers.” – Milla Holt
Merrillee Whren was a lot smarter than I was. Ha ha! She said, “The first and the second books I wrote never came close to seeing publication. My first sale to Love Inspired was the 9th book I wrote. I eventually sold them the fourth and fifth books, after I went back and revised them. A good portion of my sixth book became part of my Pinecrest series. The eighth book was my RWA Golden Heart winner and my first indie book. I eventually indie published the third book by cutting a lot of it and turning it into a novella.”
Liwen Y. Ho’s remarks sum up my own feelings so well! “I’m grateful that I was able to start my author journey with Taking a Chance on the Heartbreaker, but am I proud of the book? Not exactly. Lol. It is what it is though—a story (based on my own love story) of God’s grace and redemption and how He took something broken and made it beautiful. It’s also very much a reminder of how much I’ve grown as an author since then and how God can take something so imperfect and use it for good. I had to start somewhere as an author and I’m thankful it was with that book.”
Regarding her debut novel, Elizabeth Maddrey says, “I still love the story of my first book, Wisdom to Know, but it’s also one of those situations where I didn’t know how much I didn’t know (despite having read a lot of craft books.) Readers generally still have positive things to say about it, and there’s a part of me that isn’t sure I’d be able to write the story today with out that optimistic ignorance that comes with being a debut author.”
I very much understand what she means. Writing—or pursuing any creative endeavor, really—requires revealing a part of ourselves to the world. That’s a very vulnerable position to find ourselves in. Without that “optimistic ignorance,” I imagine few creatives would have the guts to put their work into the world. But what a tragedy that would be!
“I published the very first book I ever wrote, Love on Ice, last year just in time for the 2022 Winter Olympics. Even after loads of editing, there are still things I’d tweak. But do I love it? Absolutely! (And I’m thankful readers like it too!)” – Carolyn Miller
Like Merrillee Whren, Lindi Peterson didn’t publish her first book. “There are two things I remember about my first manuscript. At the end of every chapter my heroine went to sleep–and when I actually wrote the end, I printed it, (which took ages back then!) and set it on the kitchen table, declared to my husband, ‘I wrote a book. I wrote The End!’ He asked what I was going to do with it. I said ‘I have no idea!’ That book will never be published. 
“
I especially admire Shannon Taylor Vannatter’s frankness in her confession: “Ugh!! I have 2. Both published by small print on demand publishers (when it was a new thing) and completely unedited. I want readers to know that anything published before 2010 is badly written. There were only 2 of them, but they were really bad. 2010 and after, I had an editor. And boy did I need one. I still need one.“
Veteran author Valerie Comer shares her own reflection on what it was like to reread her early books. “About a year ago, I decided to set a new series in the world of my first published series, so I reread all six books and made copious notes. My first book, Raspberries and Vinegar, made me cringe so many times! It feels so clunky to me now, but I couldn’t think of any way to make it better without a total rewrite that would change the essence of the story. The readers who found me through that first book… and loved it… are still my most avid fans. But boy, do I feel like my writing is so much stronger 40-some books later!“
“I still love the story I told in Falling on Main Street, but I cringe when I see the writing itself… so much narration, not a lot of emotional impact, and a lot of cliches. But – it was the story of my heart and God has been faithful to use it and readers still seem to enjoy it!” – Tara Grace Ericson
Angela Ruth Strong says, “Finding Love in Sun Valley makes me cringe, but I’m so thankful for it. I wrote it during the most difficult year of my life, so I basically went through aversion therapy. I also don’t think my work was ready to be published yet, but at the same time, it was a gift from God. It was released in hardback, sold in Costco, and optioned for film, which likely will never happen again. God was pretty much saying, ‘You can do this. Don’t give up. Your life story is just getting started.’“
InspyRomance alum Janet W. Ferguson shared her candid thoughts as well. “I read and rewrote Leaving Oxford so many times, it makes me crazy to try to look at it for any reason. I’ve thought about adding a 5th book to that series, but that would mean I might have to, so I have put it off indefinitely.”
The truth is, “it’s complicated,” defines the relationship every author has with their first book. Whether or not that book was ever published, there’s a mix of pride and embarrassment whenever we consider that early work. And that makes sense. After all, we’re supposed to grow with experience and get better with practice, no matter what we put our hands to. Ball players don’t reach the pros if they remain at their high school level. James Beard awarded chefs don’t cook the way they did their first time in the kitchen. Lucky for them, their first dish is nothing more than a memory, while authors’ early works continue to line shelves for anyone to pick up and judge.
So as you’re reading those backlist books from your favorite (or even new) authors, please consider them with grace and know that we’re improving our craft little by little as flawed humans who have to learn and grow like anyone else. Try not to judge our early efforts too harshly. Because we know those books are a little rough, but we’re not the same anymore. And if you’ve ever given an author a try, only to DNF a book for its flaws, maybe give one of their later books a chance. You may just find they’ve come into their own and figured out a thing or two about storytelling.
My dear friend Toni Shiloh had this to say to her author friends recently, and it’s such a wonderful perspective that I have to share. “A LIFE TO LIVE is the very first book I ever wrote and published. But for so many years I have looked at it in shame. Cringing at the “bad writing”, “broken rules” writers aren’t supposed to do, and remembering what that very first cover looked like… But I don’t want to look at my efforts any longer and be a harsh critic who holds no grace. … This book gave my first good reviews, got me readers who wanted to know when I’d publish another book. This book led me to the wonderful Christian fiction author community and the many talented authors I’ve met along the way. This book gave me fans who are still reading every book I publish and cheering for me without prompt. This book is a sign of growth as a writer and turning dreams into reality. I’m proud of this story and proud of where I am today.”
Thanks for joining me today! Have you read any of these authors’ debut novels? What made you love that book or decide to keep reading their work even if that one wasn’t your favorite? Are you more likely to give them grace if you’ve read their later books? Share your thoughts in the comments!
And because I’m working toward loving my first book again, I’m giving the Everyday Love series a facelift. They’ll get new covers next month, and there’s a new series order! I’m sharing the images with YOU first. 😊 What do you think?
Until next time,
I love the covers. I am a pretty loyal reader. When I find a great author I read all of their books. I am happy to say I have read all of yours. I loved all of your books and that includes your first one too. I am anxiously waiting for more.
This article resonates! Thank you.
I recently released my second book, years after the first one. I’m proud of my 2nd book and feel everything “wrong” with the first one has been “corrected.”
As predicted, selling the new book has resurrected that old book. Yet, despite the perceived debut flaws, I am getting equally positive feedback on both. This begs the question: has my self-criticism been counterproductive? We shall see.
Here’s hoping you will blog about your rerelease experience:)
This was fun to read everyone’s thoughts. Good topic, Jaycee.
read some of them
That’s great!
These were so interesting to read, thank you! Just last night I watched a TV movie, “Finding Love in Big Sky,” and saw that it was based on a book by Angela Ruth Strong (whose name I recognized). Now it all makes sense–amazing that her FIRST book was optioned for film. That was certainly God’s Hand at work.
Amen to that! I adore Angela’s books.
Finding Love in Sun Valley probably started me as a fan club member of Angela Ruth Strong’s! A lot of times, yes, authors improve a lot, but their first stories are much more readable than they may think!
I think you may be right!
Hi Jaycee. I have to say that the first books that I have read from any authors are great. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you.
Thank YOU for stopping by!
I can totally relate to every word of this, Jaycee! I cringe when I read my first novella that I published in 2012. I had no clue what I was doing, and I was mainly just trying to turn my dream (holding a book I wrote in my hands) into reality. I really don’t market that one at all, and I toyed with unpublishing but ultimately decided not to because after all it was part of the journey God has taken me on and I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen! But I also know that I have grown so much as a writer since then! I’m thrilled to say that I recently hired a writing mentor, and I’m currently working on a story that I’m so excited about! 😍
How exciting!
Hi, Jaycee! Wow, what a wonderful post. I get it. I’m proud of the first book I wrote but hesitant to share it with the world. I have shared it with a few friends and the response has been polite but mixed. Probably to be expected, yeah?
One of the things I learned a long time ago about creative performance is that it has a lot to do with expectations. The actor knows when she has messed up a line but the audience has no clue so long as the delivery was smooth. The vocalist who can’t reach the top note as written in the music can drop down to a lower note that still fits the harmony of the music and the vast majority of the audience members will be none the wiser. The ones who can tell the difference will know why simply because they’ve been there, done that, etc.
I guess this is one of those situations where an old Ronald Reagan quote applies. One day, a member of a staff came to him upset about a negative article written about him by some pundit or other. Reagan’s reply? “Never confuse the critics with the box office.”
Those book babies may not all be the prettiest but we love them for who and what they are: our best work at the time. Ours. Best work. Don’t let the old English teacher in your head fool you into thinking that school and work are the same thing. School is a temporary snapshot that tries to reflect ability. Work is ability that has many temporary snapshots along the way. School is done. Work and its attendant growth endure.
I have read many of the first books in your list. There is not a one that I did not enjoy. Fear not, princess, your work for the kingdom is neither in vain nor disappointing to the One who truly cares.
Thank you, Lincoln. You’re the best!
I believe that an author’s first book should not be judged by its excellence but by the talent that is there. Have I read books that are not perfect and somewhat clumsy? yes, but if I sense the talent, the effort and that feeling of “it’s a 3 star in writing but the story is great and the message is moving I know it will be a 5 star one day”. If I get that “one day it’s going to be great” feeling I’ll be there to see it 😉
It is also because I came to Christ at 19 (26 now) and I read a lot of highly technical books like Tolkien says…they were beautiful and honest…but not true there was no gospel or real light behind (the one you feel in some non-Christian books but whose message and narration is compatible with your beliefs) so I know that anyone can have a brilliant technique, I came across really dark and depraved books with beautiful writing… now I know that I prefer a not so book a thousand times excellent in technique but that shines with the excellence of God, after all “Redeeming Love” has received negative criticism in terms of technique that has not prevented thousands of women from being healed and converted by it.
Excellent point! Thank you. ☺️
I’ve read 7 of the first books you mentioned above, including yours, and have continued reading every one of those authors since then. I think a good story and the ability to write it will often shine through to readers even as the authors is figuring out their voice and the mechanics of getting it onto the page how you envision.
Aw, that is a wonderful perspective. Thank you so much for sharing it!
I think you writers are your harshest critics. Personally, I could never write a book. Too much adult ADHD. I just don’t have the patience. But I know how much sweat, blood, and tears you guys put into your works…even your very first one. You all put a piece of your heart out there with every publication. We readers know that. So we give grace when we see an error or two. Does the book speak to us in any way? Is God grabbing our hearts with your words? The typical answer is yes, so who care about a typo or two? You guys are doing God’s work! Don’t forget that. 😀
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! I’m sure every one of us quoted in today’s post could stand to hear them more often. 😊
My own first book is no longer in print and I’m relieved it’s not! I love the story behind the book, and tell it often when telling people my story to becoming a published author. But the book itself? I cringe while remembering the story which I assume drags and has some awkward scenes. By contrast though, it won a Best First Book award in a contest sponsored by a RWA chapter so maybe my memory of it is worse than reality! 😄
Lol! I think we are always hardest on ourselves.
I loved Raspberries and Vinegar! I like to read books by first-time authors. I think you can find some real gems and unique stories among them. However, my first book (all 135k words) is sitting in a file on a thumb drive where it will remain. 🙂
LOL you’re in good company, then! I was surprised at how many authors I’ve spoken with recently admit to burying their first manuscript so it never sees the light of day. Oh, to have such wisdom. 🤣
Aw, thank you, Christa!!!! R&V wasn’t the first book I ever wrote, but it was my first romance. I was still trying to plot back then… sigh. Me ‘n plotting just don’t get along!
I like your new covers! I have read quite a few “first books” from different authors, though I don’t think I’ve read the ones you mentioned, though some of them are in my TBR stack! I’ve read ALL of Mandi Blake’s books, ALL of Jo Grafford’s books, and MOST of Autumn MacArthur’s and Alexa Verde’s. I can tell how each of them have grown and changed their writing the more they’ve written. They were really good at the beginning, and just keep getting better!!
Thank you!! And yes, it’s so true. I actually enjoy seeing how an author improves over their career, and I’ve stopped ready several who instead became formulaic and predictable instead of growing. 🤷🏼♀️
*reading
Interesting to see even though I’m not an author that we all are hard on ourselves and expect more just in different ways. Thank you for sharing. Blessings
So true! Why do we torment ourselves?!
Love this post!
Lol! Thanks for sharing your thoughts last week. Your encouragement (and little loving spankin’) was spot on. Love you, my friend!
Last year I read a series by a well-known author. The first book had technical “issues,” but the plot was strong and the characters interesting. Each book showed a marked improvement. As with most things in life, practice makes perfect, and having input from an editor helps.
You are absolutely correct on all counts!
Ha ha, thanks for this excellent piece. It captured so many of my feelings and also gave me a new way of thinking about my first book. I was nodding and smiling along with each paragraph. It’s encouraging to know I’m not the only author who’s a bit embarrassed by my debut novel, even though I love what it means.
😊 Sometimes sharing our hidden thoughts helps us lift each other up, right?!
I know I have read one or two first books.
As readers we often don’t know what is wrong with a book we know what we like and sometimes we find a book slow but we don’t necessarily know what the issue is like an author does so when we read while an author may cringe, we don’t so much. I have read some slow paced first books and some that should have ended earlier or been made into two books but have read the whole book.
Ironically most DNF in the past year were not first books. One wasn’t CCR as I had been lead to believe and it was Women’s fiction with no romance at all unlike it was promising. (I am use to a CCR having the hero and heroine meet within the first 2 chapters)
That makes sense! Thank you for sharing. 😊