You might be surprised to learn that this romance author doesn’t love Valentine’s Day. Hold off on the pitchforks and mob for a sec, I’ll explain.
I don’t love Valentine’s Day for the same reason I don’t love Mother’s Day. See, my mom always used to tell us that while she appreciated the nice things we did for her on that special day, the sweet things we did the other 364 days of the year meant so much more. Now that I’m grown with a husband and kids of my own, I understand her logic. What good is a holiday if we don’t treat the ones we love with care and appreciation the rest of the year?
My husband agrees, which is why after nearly twenty years of marriage, I can almost guarantee I won’t be getting flowers on Valentine’s Day. We probably won’t even go out for a date until the weekend after because the restaurant crowds are insane (and this year, everything’s still closed in NM anyway). But I can guarantee that when I’m exhausted or just because he feels like it, my sweet man will bring home a bouquet or a Route 44 unsweet peach tea from Sonic. Or he might do the dishes without being asked. Or tell me to go ahead and escape for an evening despite his own exhaustion.
That’s romance in its truest form right there.
One of my favorite passages in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and here’s why: it’s God’s plan for our lives. How? Because 1 John 4 says “God is love,” we are created in His image, and He repeatedly tells us to love one another. This passage defines for us exactly what we’re supposed to be doing, and not just with a romantic partner (let’s face it, sometimes they’re the hardest ones to love this way LOL).
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (NLT)
These are the traits I’m seeking to exemplify in my everyday life and interactions with others, how I’m trying to raise my children, how I even need to treat myself. 365 days a year. What does this passage whisper in your own heart?
If you’ve read any of my books, you’ve probably noticed how frequently I refer to this passage as my characters are growing in their faith and discovering how to get past their issues and love their special someone. This passage appears in What Makes a Home more than any of my other books. The words burrow deep into Jobie’s mind and heart and ultimately lead her to salvation, which changes her life from the inside out.
And just because it is almost Valentine’s Day, I’ve included an excerpt from the book as they get ready to celebrate their first Valentine’s together. Enjoy!
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” Jobie tried to keep her voice low but felt several pairs of curious eyes watching their every move.
“I took the day off. I have a Valentine project I’m working on.”
“Oh yeah? Hopefully, they’re giving you better advice than last week’s mess.”
Caleb shook his head, chagrin lighting his features. “I know, I know. I messed that one up. But I think you’ll actually like this project. Mabel and Pops have given their seal of approval this time.”
“Ooh! I’m intrigued. So… when do I get to see this project?” Her heart skipped like a pig-tailed schoolgirl.
Caleb grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I could be persuaded to start Valentine’s Day a little early.”
“Mmmm. Does that mean you’re angling for an early birthday present, too?”
“That can wait. But I don’t think I can.” He rocked on his heels with an adorable bounce.
Jobie threw her head back and laughed. She took a step forward and tipped her chin up to him.
He dropped a soft kiss to her mouth.
She pushed him away with a soft laugh. “Get out of here, goober. I have a class to finish.”
“I’ll see you at five o’clock.” He tossed her a wink and strode out of the room with confidence.
She admired the view until Wanda’s “mm-mm-mm” made her blush. Yep, that was her thought, too.
“Okay, time to pack up, people! I’ve got things to do!”
Jobie smiled to herself. It was a good thing she really loved that goofball.
And that he loved her, flaws and all.
Here’s wishing you much love—His love—wherever you are, and not only for Valentine’s Day but every day of the year. I pray that you’ll walk in patience (which is SO HARD), kindness, humility, honor, integrity, justice, faith, trust, truth, hope, and perseverance in all of your relationships, romantic and otherwise.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. – 1 Cor 13:13
Blessings,
Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day both have roots in the Christian Church. While they are secular holidays, if you trace back the origin, you can find how they evolved.
Valentine was a priest in the early Church, and he defied Roman law to marry Christians. Pax Romana was gone, Christians were being persecuted. He gave sanctuary to Christians in need, he officiated marriages in secret–in direct defiance to anti-marriage laws. He was martyred for his faith.
It’s easy to blame card companies, florists, chocolatiers, and others for the commercialism of the holiday. We don’t have to hate the holiday. We can embrace it. We can remember to hold our faith, our love in Christ, the agape love he gave to us in sacrificing his own life, and choose to love others. Show kindness, show faith, show love.
My husband & I don’t “Do” Valentines Day, either as I’m not into “token” gifts just because Hallmark thinks guys “should” on a particular date. Lol. I’d rather be free to purchase myself a coffee, a book – :D, or a special pot of blooming tulips – something inexpensive that means something to me, and perhaps Not even on Valentines Day. A long time ago in our marriage I freed my husband of that “chore.” This works better for both of us.
So very true. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Thanks and you as well!
I should tell it to my kiddos 😉
Haha!
I agree we should show our love & care everyday, but I also love the ONE special day to celebrate with my husband. We never do much more than go out for a special meal, it’s time together to reflect on all the years we’ve been married. It’s guaranteed to bring laughter & good memories 🙂
We do many things over the rest of the year to show our love to each other, of course. I just think Valentines is an extra special day to celebrate the one person who’s most important to you! Maybe I’m the odd one out today 🙂
Not at all! It is nice to have a day to go above and beyond!
Hi, that is so true, Love should not be shown just on Valentines Day, but every single day. We need to appreciate our loved ones every day . Valentines day is a special day just for that, but Love should be shown every day. Have a Great week and stay safe. God Bless you and your family.
Thanks, Alicia! Blessings to you as well.
A co-worker of mine years ago said she and her husband never celebrated Valentine’s Day, for the reason you stated. She said it was so much nicer when they bought each other something other times of the year, whenever they felt like it, instead of only on the day that someone else (I think she actually said the card companies) told you you needed to do it.
Haha that’s awesome!
My mom always used to say, “Just love me well every day.” And I will admit I agree.
We’re not big on Vday here (or mother’s/father’s day for that matter) either. But I also got a winner of a hubby who loves me well every day.
Let’s hear it for those smart mommas and loving hubbies!
In Australia its only the recent history that valentine days has become something to celebrate. The very first cards I got were in the 80’s from American penpals where everyone gives everyone a card. it was probably in the 90’s it started to become more popular.
I think you are right its not about just one day its about every day. Also being single you tend to get over all the hype of the day.
Thank you for sharing that! We have such a narrow view here in the US for the most part and I love learning about the differences in other countries. 😊
We never had halloween here ever till probably around 2000. it was mentioned a bit but it was never celebrated. The first time I had someone knock on the door was about 10 years ago and it was a surprise. Its the only time but I do know they have places that will have people come. But we saw it on American movies and shows but it was never a thing here. I wish we had never followed the trend. Of course we have Easter stuff our from the beginning of January which is way to early.
I like both versions. A lovely post.
Thank you!