It’s always been hard to explain the difference between sympathy and empathy. It’s even harder to describe being an empath versus feeling empathy, but the best I’ve been able to come up with is this: empaths are highly absorbent emotional sponges in human form.
Unlike sympathy, which is essentially identifying someone’s emotional state and reacting compassionately, empathy is the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes. Actually being an empath takes it one step further—we actually feel the emotions others around us are experiencing within our own bodies as if it were happening to us.
I won’t describe my journey to realizing I possessed these traits— that would take up far too much time, though if you’re curious you can click the links like this one here or here. I will say they traits have amplified as I’ve matured and become less self-involved (which in a way, makes sense, right? I pray, “more of You, Lord, less of me,” and He actually answered that prayer in a very literal way, allowing me to hurt for what hurts Him).
Anyway. So how has being an empath impacted my writing? I’ll do a list of the positives and a few drawbacks.
Empaths are able to conceptualize the world from a multitude of perspectives. In my writing, this translates to infinite storylines with a wide range of characters! My career never has to end! (Hear the maniacal laugh there?)- We can read emotional cues and tend to be highly emotional ourselves, so it’s easier to imagine both the physical and internal experiences of others. In writing, that means I can craft authentic characters and vividly describe their experiences.
- Because empaths perceive a lot of nonverbal cues and experience emotional responses internally, I can write realistic character interactions, even if I haven’t lived it myself.
- Working out sticky plot points is actually fun for me because I can run through multiple scenarios and see how different actions might spark different reactions from different characters, and how the plot would naturally move depending on each scenario. Like a crazy road map in my head.
Heightened awareness extends beyond emotion. I’m also highly attuned to colors, sounds, smells, sights, flavors, and touch. Incorporating heightened senses enriches the reader experience of a story.
I can get stuck inside my head and feel too much at once, though, which means sometimes it takes forever to write a scene (or blog post, ha ha) and I end up revising it 436 times while rethinking, “will a reader understand this is my character’s opinion and not mine?” or “will this hurt a reader?” or “how else might this be interpreted?”
Empaths want to help everyone, all the time, whether that’s listening to a loved one or aching to bring understanding to a polarized society or observing injustice or someone hurting in the grocery store. So sometimes priorities get skewed as I drop my writer jobs to help someone else with theirs. Usually that’s not a big deal. I enjoy helping others, I just have to work extra hard to say no because I love saying yes so much. It’s also imperative to create a bubble I can retreat into to restore my spirit.
Emotional trials get in the way of my creativity, which means sometimes I can’t write at all. Last week we lost a very dear friend. We had both good and not-so-good news from other loved ones. Added to the existing COVID stress, racial tension, and political negativity from every direction, I could hardly function.- Back to the good stuff. There’s a lot of humor to be found in hyperbole. What’s a fun way to deal with all those extreme feelings? Turn them into dramatic reactions and over-the-top situations. Case in point, Jenna Davis from Whatever Happens Next.
- And last but not least, because the Christian and Inspy writing community is so very uplifting and supportive, all that love and grace restores my spirit and stirs me to bring balance to the world by writing stories that inspire empathy in others, too.
So there you have it. Many of these traits are common to other writers and readers, of course, to a degree. When we read, we’re naturally building empathy skills because we’re reading through the eyes of the characters. While only about 15-20% of the population are true empaths, we can all increase our ability to exhibit the traits that make us better and can be an asset to us in everyday life. I hope I’ve shared a little bit of something new and interesting with you! Be sure to comment below—whatever you’d like to share. I’d love to hear from and connect with you!
I am really late. My niece is an Empath, She works as a counsellor at a school and when it comes to down time she often doesn’t answer the phone so as she is often emotionally drained.
I’m an empath, too.
💜
Interesting, no one has ever articulated it so well for me before. I know sometimes I need to step back and get away from people to not feel what they are feeling as it can become overwhelming. It’s like a double edged blade you can cut through to what they are feeling, but you need to be able to disconnect to be able to survive.
Yes! Exactly. It’s such a difficult but vital balance to achieve,
Clearly what I thought about my own empathic nature pales in comparison to the gift that God has given you. It’s really cool to see how you have learned to use the pluses in so many productive and creative ways. Thanks for sharing this insight about yourself and about how it helps in your writing. That helps me consider new possibilities for myself.
Very cool. Giving people things to think about in new ways is one of my favorite things. 😆 And no need for comparison, everybody’s journey is a bit different and the spectrum of empathy is pretty broad!
Oh my, Jaycee, I totally could tell you were a sensitive soul, even before you confirmed it with this blog post. 🙂 I’m an empath, too, and didn’t realize it until I had my firstborn, who was high need/highly sensitive from day one. After I stumbled on some research by Dr. Sears and Dr. Aron about this personality trait, everything finally made sense! Before, I used to think it was weird when my friends didn’t bawl their eyes out like I did during sad movies. Now, I know that I’m more of the exception, not them. LOL. Thanks so much for sharing this about yourself! High five and hugs from a fellow empath! <3
I thought I recognized a kindred spirit! Huge high five and hugs, Liwen! 😍
Thank you for sharing something so personal about who you are and how it impacts your writing. It took me a very long time, but I realized my mom was an Empath and was blow away by the realization because it explained so much. I know a lot more know about it. I don’t know if i would consider myself one, but I have some qualities. Just not to the extreme. I have however, I strongly believe, recently felt what God must feel for the troubled of this world. It is powerful and difficult to explain.
Great post. Thank you for sharing this 🙂
Thank you so much. I had several things to reply but everything seemed to fall short lol! I totally agree with you about how God must feel—I don’t even have the words to express. 😊
This is something to ponder! Now I wonder if I am an empath or just one who feels empathy towards others. I can relate to many traits of an empath where I actually feel someones emotions & can put myself in someones shoes. I usually see both sides of the coin when it comes to opinions and can feel deeply too. So I will be checking out the traits you have listed to see where I might fit in.
I think my husband is much more of an empath and that’s what makes him an extraordinary compassionate and understanding person. He has helped many people over the years when it comes to listening and helping someone through something. And maybe it’s helped that he’s been through a lot in life so he can really understand what someone has gone through or is going through at the moment. I admire him so much because of this!
Like I said, this is something to ponder for sure! Thanks for sharing today. I think this is why I love deeply emotional books that pull out all the stops when it comes to characters 🙂
Oh, yes! I love deeply emotional books that pull out all the stops with the characters. That’s the best part of reading good Inspy romance! 🙂 Thanks for commenting today. I’m glad it’s got you thinking!
That was fascinating! My boss at work gets very worked up by everything and IMO overextends herself constantly in people to a point of her own exhaustion. I’ve mentioned to her she needs stronger boundaries but she keeps investing and has continuous emotional highs and lows. I get exhausted being near her some days. She may be an empath. Interesting! She’s a wonderful “giving“ women and boss. I was raised in a very stoic Norwegian family and taught to never reveal emotions and always compartmentalize especially when overwhelmed. Makes me wonder if ethnic/family background might influence the display of such traits/gifts. Very interesting! Thank you.
Interesting points worth consideration. Thank you for reading and sharing your comments! I can vouch for my family that sometimes being around an empath can be as exhausting as being one. LOL!
I’m definitely an empathetic person, whether I’m an empath, I’m less certain. I am definitely sensitive to the emotional climate of those I’m around. But it doesn’t help me with sticky plot points. 😉 I do have a heightened sensitivity to colors, smells, flavors, and touch, but not to sounds or sights.
Fascinating! I’m sure it’s another one of those things that differs some from person to person.
You’re right! It might be more of a spectrum, and you’re a bit further along it than I am. That kind of stuff is fascinating to me, too.
That is very interesting.
😊 Thanks for reading.
This is really interesting! I’m not an empath, though I do feel empathy for people. I know some people that feel no empathy for others, though. I’ll be checking out the links!
Awesome! Thank you for stopping by today! 😊
That was so interesting and helped me better understand my empath friends. I’m the friend God created that tells my friends to snap out of it. I care deeply about many things and people, but at the end of the day, I’m definitely the one practicing tough love, with kindness.
The kindness part is key! Sometimes even I slip into the “snap out of it!” mode, especially when I’m over-feeling and under-understanding. But thankfully, it’s something we can all practice!
Fascinating thank you.
😊