A Matter of Heart

May 13, 2023 Jaycee Weaver22 Comments

I once heard someone say Mother’s Day should come with a trigger warning. This same person had a hard time going to church on Mother’s Day Sunday, explaining that for her the day was fraught with conflicting, complicated emotions she’d rather not have shoved in her face. If you can relate, this post is for you. If not, this post is also for you, just keep reading, you may yet glean something of value.

While honoring moms on a special holiday every year seems like a wonderful, happy, sweet concept, it’s not always that simple. For some, it’s a painful reminder of unfulfilled longing. For others, it’s a day of grief. Trauma. Pain. Heartache. So today, while this is ordinarily a contemporary Christian romance blog, I’d like to take a moment separate from that to write a few letters from the heart honoring those who aren’t looking forward to Mother’s Day.

To my precious friend yearning for motherhood,

This season isn’t easy. I don’t know your story, whether you’re still single and searching, struggle with infertility, or are still waiting with deferred hope for another reason. But know that motherhood isn’t a matter of the body, but of the heart. You mother already in the ways that count. In the way you care for those in your life who need it, in the way you already love the child you hope for. In the compassion you show, in the sacrifices you make for others, in the leadership and mentoring you do. As with Hannah and Rachel, the Father hears the cries of your heart. Until your arms are filled, cling to Him with the hope of Someday. Keep loving others like He does while you wait, my friend.

Mother is a verb. It’s something you do, not just who you are.” —Dorothy Canfield Fisher

To my dear friend aching for her lost child,

Oh, my friend, how I mourn with you. Words cannot adequately express the unfairness of your loss nor honor the depth of yearning to see and hold your precious one again. You are loved, mama. You are precious to the Father, and He has felt what you feel. He has lost, too. That may feel like trite, and if so I am sorry. I pray for your heart today to find an echo of joy in the memories you treasure and hold close as you also cling to the hope of Someday when you will see and hold them again.

And can it be that in a world so full and busy the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up!” —Charles Dickens

For my friends who are missing their mothers,

Whether the separation is by disconnect, death, or miles, I pray for you today. It’s hard missing your mama. May your memories be sweet and bring peace. You are not alone, never truly.

Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” —C.S. Lewis

To my friend whose mother-child relationship was complicated or downright traumatic,

Here’s a hug for you, my friend. It’s hard to celebrate a day when you’ve got a history of trauma, abuse, neglect, mental illness, or other heavy issue that’s made life… well, hard. You should’ve had a better mom. It’s okay to acknowledge that. You aren’t dishonoring her by acknowledging she fell short. Sometimes there is healing in speaking the truth, in acknowledging she should have made better choices, gotten help, figured out her mess. She shouldn’t have hurt you. I pray for your continued healing, especially in those moments that sneak up on you and hurt all over again. If she’s still alive, I pray for you to find that sweet place of balance between safe boundaries and restoration. I pray she finds Jesus and experiences a radical transformation that brings healing to you both. But I also pray for your heartache if that’s never the case. May you find the strength to move forward in wholeness and healing. May your other relationships be better and stronger because of the things you learned and who you decided not to be. May you find hope, joy, and peace in the arms of the Father when you need them most.

It is both tragic and freeing to accept that your mother is not capable of being the mother you always needed her to be.” – Stephi Wagner

For those finding this Mother’s Day difficult for other reasons,

You are precious. You are loved. You are seen and adored by the One who made you and knows you best. It won’t always be like this. There is hope. I encourage you to find those tiny pockets of joy in seasons like this, however they come. In the warmth of the sunshine. In the sounds of birdsong and laughter. Cling to your faith, to the knowledge that someday soon a new season will come, and this one will become a mere memory. I pray for you to find Him when you seek Him, for you to feel His arms around you as you struggle, knowing you are not alone. You are not too much for Him, and He restores when you aren’t enough or fall short. When it feels as though everything around you is unraveling, hold tight to those threads of light, life, joy, and peace. And don’t be afraid to get a little therapy if you need it! We all do sometimes, my friend.

A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” —Cardinal Meymillod

Last but not least, for all the tired and weary moms out there, whether mothers by biology or by action,

Thank you for doing the hardest job in the universe so well. I’m proud of you! There’s no more difficult job than mothering, because doing it well always means putting yourself last while constantly being mindful of the needs, demands, and preferences of everyone else. I pray this Mother’s Day your loved ones honor you in some way that makes you feel treasured, valued, adored in the way you should be. But in case they fall short, allow me to say GOOD JOB. You may fail, fall short, mess up, and do or say something that will land them in therapy in the future. Welcome to the club, my friend. Motherhood is a messy, complicated job, but the fact that you’re still trying, still sacrificing, still doing everything in your power to live love every minute of their lives, proves that you are good at your job. They might forget to say thank you today or tomorrow, but some wonderful day in the future, they’ll pause and realize how hard you worked and how fully you loved. Keep loving on and praying for those babies, long after they’re grown and facing the world on their own.

Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.” —Sharon Jaynes

“The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
²⁵the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
²⁶the Lord turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.”

Blessings, my friends, now and always. I’m sending you a virtual hug and hope you found some encouragement for yourself or to pass on to someone who needs it.

And in case you’re looking for a book with a complicated mother-daughter relationship that has a happy ending, Braver With You is on sale this week for only 99¢. Happy reading and (hopefully, for most) Happy Mother’s Day!

The Black Moment

August 30, 2022 Jaycee Weaver40 Comments

Last week, our own Lindi Peterson touched briefly on the topic of black moments framed from the perspective of The Storm Before the Rainbow. Many of you know I’ve experienced my own storm this past year, and I’ve clung to the hope of seeing the rainbow with everything I’ve had. Today I’d like to go deeper on the topic, and maybe even get a little personal.

If you’re still not clear on the term “black moment,” it’s that pivotal point between the second and third act when all hope seems lost. The main character is faced with losing what their heart longs for most—what they’ve been fighting for or against the whole story—and must face internal conflict that’s driven them to or from their goal all along.

Generally, it’s a false belief (i.e. I’ll never love again, I can’t be with him/her) or fear (i.e. everyone leaves, I’m unworthy of love) or both. Whatever it is, that thing holds them back from moving forward toward their happy ending until they confront it and accept the truth.

It’s especially beautiful in Christian fiction because we know the Source of all hope, freedom, and love, so when the hero or heroine faces their darkest moment, there’s a natural opportunity for them to be free of it in Christ. Obviously, that doesn’t always require a profound salvation moment on the pages. Many times it’s simply applying what they know to be true because of their faith and finally surrendering it to the Lord. Christian characters, like real-life Christians, naturally go through storms that require us to surrender.

To be completely honest, I don’t always love black moments in fiction.

I’ve been known to choose books by authors who don’t write them at all (like Brooke St. James), simply because I’ve had enough black moments in my life or in my loved one’s lives that I just need something completely happy to escape into. A romance where the relationships are easy. There’s conflict, obviously, because conflict always drives any story, but that conflict doesn’t always come from an internal issue or tension between hero and heroine. Sometimes it’s a circumstance or inconvenience that they deal with, without a lot of drama, and everything ends well.

But while I thrive on those books, they aren’t typically the ones that stick with us. The books that leave a profound mark—when we close the cover with a sigh and simply hold it in our arms, savoring that deliciously satisfying feeling—give us that satisfaction by putting us through the wringer. By putting the characters through the wringer. The deeper the lows, the more gratifying the highs.

It’s been two years of black (at at least dark and bleak) moments for most everyone I know, but this is where the power of story really hits home for me. Where story translates from fictional escape to real-world application. The victories we read on the pages give us hope that in our own black moments, God will be there for us, too, speaking love and truth and peace into our storms and reminding us that He made the rainbow to come after as a promise.

Sometimes I write my own personal black moments into my characters.

For instance, Ada in More Than Enough battles perfectionism and feelings she’ll never be enough no matter how much she does and does and does for other people. It was hard to knock her down in the length of a novella, but I know all too well how those feelings can be a tripping hazard and get in the way of surrendering all to the Father. I sat in that theater with her, knowing intimately that no amount of doing and helping and fixing will ever be enough to silence the lies that I AM NOT enough. But HE is.

Jenna from Whatever Happens Next cries out to God because she used to hear His voice so naturally. She sees the dust on her Bible and opens its pages and wonders why He no longer speaks to her that way. Does He still love her? Why can’t she hear Him anymore? Feel His presence? Oh, how I cried with her because I was going through my own dry spell spiritually and I ACHED to feel His embrace again.

And while I’ve never personally endured what Gina in Whatever Comes Our Way did, I’ve had panic attacks. I’ve felt the slithers of anxiety crawling under my skin and keeping me from trusting the Lord completely.

For these characters, their black moments had the potential to keep them separated from the loves of their lives, from finding romance and happily ever afters. That may not be the risk we face in our own black moments, of course, but that doesn’t mean fictional black moments don’t still translate into our own realities.

Every time I’ve faced my own darkest moments, knowing God was there, that He saw me, CHANGED ME permanently. He took something that was crushing me and keeping me from Him and performed open heart surgery, removing that issue and replacing it with a story of victory that I can walk in each day. I can remember MY story and help impact someone else’s by sharing it in some way.

Next month, I’ll be speaking at a women’s conference on my very blackest, capital letters Black Moment. Reliving it all as I put together my message—looking at the pictures of what I looked like at my worst in the hospital as I fought for my life, re-reading texts and posts from those weeks—has been HARD. It’s putting me through the wringer all over again. But I can’t wait to tell this story. I can’t wait for the opportunity to write those feelings into future characters.

All because of the power of story; the power of testimony. The power of the black moment to move us from our stuck place, our worst place, into HIS best for us. The line between fiction and reality is often a thin one. And praise God for that. Because isn’t it wonderful to have hope? To know that after the darkest of night comes the dawn?

So tell me in the comments—what fictional black moment resonated deeply within you? What character’s pivotal moment left an impact on you because you understood it and felt understood yourself? (Titles/authors without spoilers, please.)

Remember, we’re in the middle of the Back to School Bash, so your comments become entries into our many, many amazing giveaways! I can’t wait to see what inspirational romance titles you suggest. And if you have some go-to authors for escaping black moments entirely, well, I’m totally open to those as well. We need a bit of balance in our lives, don’t we? Ha ha!

Until next time,

Devotional Thought

20 Silver Linings From 2020 (and inspiration for 2021)

January 4, 2021 Jaycee Weaver34 Comments

Dumpster fire.

Unprecedented.

The year of the introvert.

I’ve heard a lot of ways to describe 2020, many more colorful than the next. And let’s face it, none of us were really all that sad to leave it behind as we welcomed the new year while praying—hard—that 2021 will restore every hope that was dashed in 2020 and then some.

I don’t particularly relish the thought of reviewing 2020’s illustrious list of hardships, catastrophes, frustrations, and pain. You don’t mind, do you? Not to diminish the realities of course, I’d simply rather focus on the positive for a moment. To that end, I’ve compiled a list of 20 silver linings that came out of the cloudy year, and perhaps a little inspiration as we observe the first Monday of 2021.

20. No need to make up excuses to get out of things. We all do it from time to time. If nothing else, 2020 kept us from the temptation to stretch the truth when we needed a break from social obligations!

19. More time to catch up on the things we’d been putting off. I don’t know about you, but my closets, cabinets, and pantry have never been so organized. My kids’ assorted memorabilia is now properly bagged in storage bins by year. I learned about advertising on Amazon, something I’ve been putting off for three years, and wrote more books this year than the previous three. What did you catch up on?

18. That TBR stack finally shrank. Or maybe you’re like me and discovered a whole heap of new-to-you authors and grew the thing instead. LOL! Either way, after my reading dry spell last spring, I changed what and how I read and devoured a whole slew of books! Did you? I’d love to hear about new lit-loves you discovered.

17. We HAD to learn new technology. Zoom meetings for school, work, church, volunteer work, etc. was just the beginning. Video chat apps became the only way we had human contact some days. For the less-than-tech savvy, this was frustrating but necessary and a pretty big victory (or so I’ve heard, lol).

16. Nature did its thing. Did you see those stunning pictures of the waters in Venice last summer? Or hear about the vast number of endangered and nearly-extinct species that saw reproduction booms unlike ever before? Reduced pollution in major cities even. And gosh, look at all the busy celebrities who finally had time to have babies (haha)!

15. We could finally get that pet we always wanted. I can’t tell you how many people I know who got that quarantine puppy (myself included). And it’s been awesome.

14. Getting out in nature became a pastime again. Even if it was just for a walk around the block. But for many, hiking, camping, or just driving through mountains, forests, or national parks became an appealing option once more. So did visiting the local public parks to toss a ball, walk the dog, or read under a tree.

13. Good news made the news. Oh, sure, there was still plenty of negativity, pot-stirring, and skewed information. But more than ever, we saw stories of people reaching out and doing GOOD, connecting creatively, helping out-of-work neighbors, and more. We got to see Zoom musical numbers and stars reading books aloud to little kids. I pray they will continue to give us more balance and that I’ll be less jaded about the media.

12. Lounge wear became socially acceptable in public. Sure, the trend has been on the rise for years. But now no one’s judging us for being too lazy to wear pants. I mean, we’re just running to the store comfortably in sweats before parking back on the couch with the next good book and a bag of chips, right?

11. It was easier to make positive lifestyle changes. Maybe not for everybody, of course, but I’ve heard from several people (myself included) who finally decided to take control of their finances, health, fitness, Bible reading, and other good habits. Now to lose those extra pounds that contradict this whole point…

10. Old, forgotten hobbies made a comeback. Many brushed off their sewing skills to make masks. Others learned to cook and bake or tackle craft projects. Artistic pursuits and finally writing that novel became a reality for some. Puzzles became cool again. And hooray for all the people who didn’t read much before now joining the book lover ranks!

9. We’ve learned that eyes really are the windows to the soul. None of us enjoy wearing masks, but we’ve come to appreciate the value of eye-contact and what those eyes are saying in a new way. Which leads me to…

8. We’ve become better communicators. Had to, really, relying on body language when faces are obscured. But also, we’ve become more socially aware of how our actions, words, and language affect others who don’t walk in our same shoes, and hopefully, become better, more compassionate communicators as a society going forward. Loving others as Jesus commanded requires us to do just this!

7. Acts of kindness are not only appreciated, but necessary. I’ve seen neighbors making grocery runs for the elderly or quarantined. Neighborhoods erecting lending library boxes. Strangers joking and swapping stories in line outside stores due to occupancy restrictions. Churches stepping up their food pantry and outreach efforts despite doors often being closed for services. What have you witnessed?

6. Compassion and empathy became a little more natural. Have you had one of those moments where you connect with a stranger—that feeling of solidarity that we’re all in this together? It’s amazing. As an empath, I thrive in those moments. I live for accounts of neighbor helping neighbor, paying good deeds forward, knowing we’re all going through a lot and giving one another grace. It’s easy to see when these moments aren’t happening, but when you choose to look for them, you’ll find them everywhere!

5. Jobs, and not just our own, aren’t taken for granted. With so many out of work for weeks and months, employment isn’t so easily taken for granted anymore. Neither can we overlook the sacrifices essential workers make in order to keep our world functioning—health care workers, essential services, food service workers, teachers, and beyond.

4. We had to get really, really creative sometimes. Kids visiting grandparents and great-grandparents through windows. Neighbors building candy slides and clotheslines for trick-or-treaters. Nursing home residents entertained with “deer hunts” (Nerf guns shot at antler-wearing staff LOL). Figuring out how to visit loved ones without traveling. Drive-by birthday party parades. Virtual proms and Thanksgiving Day parades. The list goes on for miles!

3. A fresh appreciation for TIME with the ones we love. It’s far too easy to get sucked into the day-in day-out routine. Whether we live with family, friends, or alone, 2020 has shown us how important it is we don’t take time with loved ones for granted. I’ll forever be grateful for the time I had with those who passed away this year, and I wouldn’t trade the time with my 3 teenagers all day, every day for anything. I’m aware how quickly they’re growing up and becoming independent, and 2020 gave me time to know them more intimately, for their relationships to grow, and for us to bond in a way our previously fast-paced life just couldn’t foster.

2. A new appreciation for the little things. Whether it’s an item on this list or something else you discovered, 2020 left a lasting impression and an inability to take things for granted, at least for a while (we are human, after all, and it’s inevitable we will forget).

1. Life still went on. Will you choose to bring the silver linings and lessons learned into this fresh new year?

Despite the heartache and heaps of negative things 2020 held, I’m left with an overwhelming sense of optimism as I seek out the silver linings and choose to find the joy after the mourning. It’s my fervent prayer that you will find joy, hope, peace, and the love of Christ shining through the dark places as you seek out your own silver linings. And that 2021 will be a year of restoration, filled with light and life wherever you are and whatever you are facing.

Be blessed!

Devotional Thought · New Releases

The Fruits of Faith and Peace

November 2, 2020 Jaycee Weaver14 Comments

I’ve been a Christian so long that, at times, it’s been easy to take my faith for granted. Dry seasons, wandering seasons, passionately in love with Him seasons.

Every frustrating dry season when I long to hear His voice but for some reason can’t inevitably ends up with a hard self-examination and facing my need to weed out the parts that aren’t bringing Him glory or redirect myself onto the path He’s chosen.

But the fruits of those seasons are always a rich harvest for which I am thankful. Each season has come with life lessons and helped shape me into a more empathetic person full of grace (toward everyone but myself, sadly).

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. There is no law against these things! – Galatians 5:22-23 NLT

The last bit always cracks me up. Do you ever hear people rant, “There ought to be a law!” about one frustrating thing or another? I imagine the religious lawmakers of Paul’s day said it a lot. And while there is no law against the fruits of the spirit, growing them in our daily lives is certainly no easier than following the Old Testament law.

By now, we can agree that 2020 has been a YEAR. Patience runs thin (which is the most difficult fruit of the spirit to grow anyway, IMO). Kindness, goodness, and gentleness are hard to find if you’re watching the news or other media, though if you look around in real life, you’ll find them like plants flourishing in the shade. Same goes for love and joy. I won’t even get started on self-control (hello, extra pounds).

I started out the year writing two books. The first, my final novel in the Everyday Love series which released in May. The second, Always Been Yours, part of the Something Borrowed collection with several of my dearest author friends. Hanady and Keenan’s friends-to-more story came together just how I envisioned. I wasn’t sure what the rest of my writing year held, but I trusted the Lord to show me the way.

Then… in came invitations from two more collections for this Christmas. Peace settled into my spirit while praying about joining them, so I did. And then came quarantine and stay-home orders, giving me more dedicated time to write than ever. With three commitments, I needed every second. Unfortunately, though I exercised self-discipline and saw that fruit grow in abundance, joy and peace began shriveling on the vine.

I finished my second book and excitedly began work on the third, a spin-off from my May release Whatever Happens Next. Rob and Vera’s story came pouring out in the beginning. By the time I hit the middle of Christmas Mercy for the seventh Crossroads collection, though, I struggled. Anxiety and self-doubt strangled my peace.

This was early summer when we were all growing weary of quarantine, our state remaining closed, and mourning all of our canceled plans. Still, I faithfully continued to write and work through the emotions and lack of peace and was overwhelmed by God’s reminder in my life of His mercy. His grace. His good gifts even when we’re a mess inside.

As I made plans to begin my final novella of the year, fear wanted to settle in and make its mark. I had to faithfully practice trust and fight off the doubts of the enemy while also resting in the promise that if God called me to it, He would equip me for it. And because He is faithful, He answered my fervent prayers and expanded my creativity to write This and Every Christmas, part of Hearts Aglow (The Christmas Lights Collection 2020). This story is unlike anything else I’ve ever written. How I wrote it was different, too. It grew me and stretched me and through it I learned so much about the kind of storyteller He calls me to be.

It also reminded me of the words in John 15:5. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. My vine will wither, the fruits shrivel, and words fail. He is the vine from which I grow, from which the fruits of my spirit will grow. These three books are the fruits of faithfulness and self-discipline as I sought peace despite my anxieties. They bring joy to my heart and are a strong reminder of what a big, wonderful God we serve. How He loves me through every up and down and calls me to do the same with Him (and others!). Seeing them out in the world, knowing how much they’ve been prayed and labored over is a tangible bit of each fruit that God has worked in me through 2020.

What fruits are flourishing in you this year? Are you struggling with any? How can I pray for or encourage you?

Be sure to comment, or if you’d prefer, you can always email jaycee@jayceeweaver.com or message me on Facebook. If you’d like to hear more devotional thoughts or stay current on what’s happening in my writer life, you can also subscribe to my irregularly delivered newsletter https://jayceeweaver.com/newsletter (and receive a free book).

Blessings!

Devotional Thought · Giveaway · Writing Process

Plotting & Pantsing Explained + giveaway

January 13, 2020 Jaycee Weaver22 Comments

Spend any time on social media with your favorite authors these days, and you’ll come across a number of terms the average reader doesn’t understand. Like any field, there’s a bit of lingo involved that can confuse a person on the outside looking in. Always a reader first, I enjoy sharing some of that insider knowledge with other readers. I mean, we read because we love books, right? And not just the story or the characters—we love the literary world, whether we understand it or not.

I had someone ask me the other day what it meant when their favorite author claimed to be a “total pantser.” I can explain, in a nutshell, for those of you who’ve asked the same question.

Many authors consider themselves “plotters,” or someone who plots out their novel before they begin writing. In general, plotters have an outline that falls somewhere on the spectrum from a general outline with a loose structure and character bios, to well-organized, detailed outlines with personality typed character sheets and a fully structured plan from start to finish. I’m in quite a few author groups online, and I’ll tell you, the true plotter is a rare bird.

A bit more common is the “pantser,” or an author who writes “by the seat of their pants.” The most organized that the majority of pantsers get is to work up character bios and a rough synopsis for the beginning and ending, but are completely at the mercy of the process. Typically, an idea for the story comes, and pantsers flesh it out little by little. More often than not, the writing process happens by following a whole lot of rabbit trails.

Occasionally, an author will claim to be a plantser. I’d say this is the most common writing style, but perhaps that’s just my own tendency to walk the line between extremes. The plantser is more organized than a total pantser, but not as rigid and detailed as a complete plotter. Make sense?

So… how does this relate to inspy romance, other than the obvious?

Well, I think it’s safe to say we’re all plantsers in our own ways. Whether you’re a writer, reader, doctor, teacher, stay-home parent, or any other identifier, life never goes as planned. And few people ever fall completely to one side or the other on any issue. Not only that but as Christians, we must allow the author and finisher of our faith (Heb 12:2) to drive the plot of our lives as well as form our character according to His will.

The New Living Translation of Proverbs 16:9 says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” And 1 Corinthians 10: 31 says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Then there’s James 4:15, “What you ought to say is, ‘If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.'”

Finding that sweet spot between plotting out life and flying by the seat of our pants certainly isn’t easy, and there’s nothing wrong with either side. But I wonder. Is your life your own, being plotted and planned and structured, or are you living by your whims and whatever life throws at you? Or have you found that happy medium where your plans surrender to His will, even when circumstances are out of your hands?

I’ll be honest. I’m a pantser all the way. But with the start of a whole new year, I’m finding He is calling me to become a better plantser—and not just in my writing. I’m ready to add more structure and discipline while surrendering my whims and desires to whatever it is He’s asking of me. In everything—what I write, what I read, as a substitute teacher, a mom, a friend, a wife. It feels like I’m standing on the precipice of something new and beautiful. A lot like the feeling I get when an idea for a new story sparks.

I sure can’t wait to see where He takes me! How about you?

**One random commenter will receive a copy of my first novel, What Could Be, which deals with a young woman learning to let go of her carefully plotted life and surrender to His will.**